Infinite varieties of recovery
Their lives were littered with crumpled hopes and discarded dreams.
Lost jobs, broken homes, car accidents, jail time and commonly, a diminishing sense of self worth and an increasing state of alienation, all fuelling (and exacerbating) their growing reliance on substances.
Some are curious about a life free from chemical reliance and others simply look to enriching the recovery they have.
Of all the men and women who contacted me in the last few months, three come to mind. They were coming from vastly different experiences and world views, which would each require their own unique way out of their substance misuse.
However, Steven, John and Patrick (names changed to protect their anonymity), shared a few things in common — a growing feeling of despair as hope evaporated and a growing sense of self recrimination took its place.
They suspected, as others suggested, their drug and alcohol use may be contributing to their bleak situation.
They were ready to do something, but didn’t know exactly what.
So they called us.
Steven, a 26-year-old man, was healthy in every way, except for his reliance on drugs.
He’d been to a reputable treatment centre, known for its success in therapeutic approaches, such as cognitive behaviour therapy.
Like many leaving treatment, he stayed clean for a while, but it didn’t take. Soon he was reliant on drugs, once again.
His loving family and therapist were growingly frustrated with his inability to see the devastating effect his lifestyle was having on him.
I started working with him, and he made it clear he wasn’t interested in mutual supports such as 12-step groups or SMART recovery. We focused on strengths in his recovery capital, such as a loving family, an education and a well-paying job, and attainable dreams and goals.
After a couple more relapses into intense drug use, and two serious car accidents, it was clear we needed to find him some withdrawal management. We were able to get him into a local treatment centre that managed his withdrawal, and launched him into recovery, which involves 12-step mutual support. He remains contentedly sober today.
Sometimes, people are in recovery, but are failing to get traction toward lasting abstinence.
Such was the case with John, a 35-year-old professional, who was already in 12-step recovery, but couldn’t stop relapsing. His wife was ready to take the children and leave.
On advice from his therapist, he called us.
As is often the case, his relapses are evidence of the cause. With guidance, we worked to build a pathway around those triggers, while we worked to bolster the foundational underpinnings of good recovery, in this case, primarily self care.
He now understands recovery is a marathon, not a sprint, and is setting an appropriate pace for himself.
Often, dependence on substances leads people to places for which they never want to return.
Patrick, 32, has recently been released from prison, and is working to overcome an addiction to opioids. He’s extremely intelligent, and says he doesn’t need any help from a mutual support group. He felt returning to church with his family would be beneficial, and it was.
He still likes to pair his evening meal with a glass of wine on occasion, but he’s free from drug use and fulfilling his life purpose.
I’m continually amazed at the vast varieties of recovery experience, and how rich it is when people discover the one that is custom fit for their own lives.
Watching those lives change is one of the most rewarding experiences of my own life.
If you are curious about living life in recovery that puts you back in the driver’s seat, we’ve been there, we can help.